A Good Apology: Four Steps to Make Things Right (Hardcover)

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Through its four essential steps, A GOOD APOLOGY gives groundbreaking advice on how best to make an effective apology toward rebuilding any relationship, for readers of The Body Keeps the Score.

We've all done something wrong or made a mistake or insulted someone -- even if by accident. We've all been hurt and wanted the other person to help us heal. It may be surprising, but the breaches themselves aren't the real problem; our inability to fix them is what causes us trouble.

In A Good Apology, Dr. Molly Howes uses her experiences with patients in her practice, research findings, and news stories to illustrate the power and importance of a thorough apology. She teaches how we can all learn to craft an effective apology with four straightforward steps.

An apology is a small-scale event between people, but it's enormously powerful. This comprehensive book gives readers the tools to fix their relationships, make amends, and move forward. With it, you'll fully understand the meaning and importance of this universal and timeless endeavor: a good apology.

About the Author


Molly Howes, PhD, is a Harvard-trained clinical psychologist and an award-winning writer. Following a Clinical Fellowship at Harvard Medical School, she completed her PhD in Clinical Psychology from Florida State University and a Postdoctoral Fellowship at Harvard Community Health Plan. Dr. Howes has contributed to research projects studying the interpersonal effects of depression, the impact of a parent's cancer on the child's psychological well-being, and the incidence and prevalence of mental health disorders in primary care practices and in larger international populations.

She is an author of several academic papers and presents at conferences for professional organizations such as the American Psychological Association. A MacDowell fellow, she has also been published in the New York Times's Modern Love column, Best American Essays, NPR's Morning Edition, and elsewhere.

For thirty-five years, she has maintained an independent psychotherapy practice in which she treats couples, as well as individual patients of all ages.

Praise For…


"Those looking for a way to say sorry and mean it will learn much from Howes's approachable demystification of the art of apology."—Publishers Weekly

"A Good Apology beautifully outlines how our relationships
can dramatically improve by an authentic way to repair. Mistakes and ruptures
happen, and Howes shows us how the practice of the apology is
the first imperative step toward repair. By following her 4 steps to make
things right, the practice of how and when we apologize can
be honed to create transformative and positive change."—Eve Rodsky, New York Times bestselling author of Fair Play: A Game-Changing Solution for When You Have Too Much to Do (and More Life to Live)

"At a time when
conflict and divisiveness seem to be engulfing us all, this wonderful,
on-target book by Molly Howes is just what is needed! Here are practical,
effective remedies that can help make reconciled relationships possible."—The Most Reverend Michael B. Curry, Presiding Bishop of The Episcopal Church

"This is the definitive
book on how to make an apology that actually matters, that heals both parties,
and that leads to growth, joy, and peace of mind. Accessible,
authoritative, and filled with convincing real-life scenarios from this
consummate clinician's own work, A Good Apology teems with
warmth, wisdom, tenderness, and an infectious zest for making things right."—Edward Hallowell, MD, nationally bestselling co-author of Driven to Distraction




"Dr. Howes' beautiful book is a
needed antidote to an era in which division has come to seem inevitable and
conflict unresolvable. A
Good Apology
counters with a premise combining humility about the
capacity of even the best among to cause harm and the possibility of human
growth even in our darkest moments. It helps us forgive ourselves, too."— Frances Moore Lappé, New York Times bestselling author of Diet for a Small Planet and Daring Democracy


"I hope the whole
world reads this book! Dr. Howes explores the power of a genuine apology
in intimate relationships, politics, medicine and more, and she provides an
elegant road-map for negotiating this tricky terrain. The ability to
apologize is an often overlooked, but centrally important, aspect of happy
relationships. Seamlessly written and saturated with wisdom, this book shows
what it takes to free the heart - ours and others."
Christopher Germer, PhD, author of The Mindful Path to Self-Compassion

"In A
Good Apology
, Dr. Molly Howes expertly delves into a difficult topic that
helps us all become more loving and connected. In today's hectic world,
nurturing our relationships is paramount. Through stories of people
struggling and other useful tips and tools, Dr. Howes creates a road map we can
all use to thrive."—Dr. Zelana Montminy, behavioral scientist & author of 21 Days to Resilience

"Healthy relationships are essential to how we
live and work together. Imagine the benefit to business, families, governments,
health care, faith communities, education, and our quality of life if human
beings could learn to make a good apology. In this earnest and inviting book,
Dr. Howes connects social science, popular events and her considerable clinical
expertise to create an accessible formula for the repair of broken
relationships. In our divided age, this should be required reading."—Nicholas Covino, PsyD, President of William James College


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"'A Good Apology' is a brilliant, beautifully written, impeccably researched book that should be read by anyone involved in conflict management, organizational consulting, coaching, or psychotherapy. Actually, I can think of no one who would not benefit - both personally and professionally - from this book's clear, analytical, and heartfelt exploration of the four essential steps in a successful apology. Molly Howes has given us a life-changing gift with her sage advice and evocative stories of hurt, apology, and reconciliation."— p.p1 {margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; text-align: center; font: 11.0px 'Times New Roman'} span.s1 {font-kerning: none} David A. Hoffman, Esq., Mediator, Arbitrator, Collaborative Lawyer
Product Details
ISBN: 9781538701317
ISBN-10: 1538701316
Publisher: Grand Central Publishing
Publication Date: July 21st, 2020
Pages: 288